So I thought that we would have a Welcome Home Party for Israel around the end of June. A medium sized gathering (for us that means about 50-75 people) in the park with soccer balls, our soccer goal and cones, and a soccer ball full of candy to hang from a tree and beat with a stick til all the candy falls out and the children swarm. Israel is into soccer, only he calls it football. I imagined we would also surprise my husband with a 50th Birthday Cake since he turned 50 in the Congo and we never got to celebrate. To make this happen I would need to send in my parks department request immediately, and I just can't do it.
Sorry to everyone who is waiting for the invite to this event. It isn't coming right now. I feel totally overwhelmed with our life right now. I cannot plan this event until I am no longer overwhelmed. I know that by the end of June, I will feel much much better. I will be spending five days a week at our pool, one day a week at the beach, and one day a week at home. No more downtown, no more subways, no more walking everywhere carrying enough water and food for the entire day for three people, no more desperately trying to stay connected to my four year old on a busy sidewalk when he is frightened by each passing dog, every homeless person, and many other sights, sounds, sirens and random grown-ups.
The adoption books talk about his anxiety as pervasive, and maybe it is -- supposedly he is constantly worried if he is safe, if he is where he will stay, if I will leave him, if Papa will leave him, if he will be okay, loved, fed, housed, clothed, and on and on. A lot of the time I actually see these thoughts move round in his busy brain, and then, thankfully, he gets interested in something (a friend's electronic piano, his drums, the computer, the printer, how a door works, how a lightswitch works, the stepstool and how to reach what he can't reach, music, his tricycle...) and he is totally absorbed with that thing and the worries go away.
I think life at the pool will be calmer and simpler. I imagine him exploring the grass, the concrete, the water, the shade, the sun, the mushroom-shaped fountain in the toddler area, kickboards and swim-noodles. He loves to splash water into his own face, so I am hoping he will love the pool.
By the end of June, I will be able to begin to plan this event. Since no one is around in August, I can get a date from the parks department for early September. This is my current plan. At this party, I want to honor all the people who helped bring Israel home -- the ones who wrote letters to recommend Scott and I as parents; the ones who helped us get things done, because there was so much to get done; and all of you who offered us so much support. It has been a long, strange trip, (a la J. Garcia) and we will look back on this and it will all seem funny (a la Bruce),
Right now Israel would be overwhelmed by it all. Especially since we have birthday parties galore to attend in the upcoming six weeks. I am looking forward to teaching Israel that we honor each person on their birthday with wishes and gifts and sugar. But until he sees a few other parties, he won't be interested in his own.
What is happening here that is wonderful is that today Israel learned how to pedal his tricycle (thanks again Kate!). This was no small feat with his muscles being very low in tone -- he never got a chance to use his leg muscles in the Congo. His feet roll in and splay out, and the orthopedic doctor said he just needs to wear his new sneakers with support inside, and use his feet, and he is, and he is loving it. After learning to cycle on his own, Papa showed up to watch. Israel beamed with pride.
Every time he sees an airplane, he gets very excited, smiles wide and says, "avion! Papa!" and he waves, as if Papa is still on the plane. (Avion is French for airplane.) He loves that he was on a plane with Papa. Me too. Papa too. Even Eddie is starting to love it.
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