Today Israel spent the morning with his Papa, and after Eddie and I had our private time at the Ice Show, we picked up Israel and took him to School for Strings. He has already visited and attended Eddie's private violin lesson with the inimitable Mr Lieb on Tuesday. I explained he had to be quiet, and he immediately requisitioned my notebook and pen and took notes throughout the lesson -- tiny scrawl writing with his left hand from right to left (backwards) reminiscent of the finest doctors or Cy Twombly on acid. When Mr Lieb harmonized with Eddie, Israel stood up to listen with his entire body.
When I told Israel we were going to School for Strings to see Eddie's lesson, he packed his "sacky" (Thomas train knapsack) with paper and markers to play with while Eddie attended music theory class. For group violin Israel sat still for the entire forty-five minutes during which time he listened and watched, and when he was bored he would work on removing or replacing his sneakers and socks, tying and untying the laces. He has never had sneakers or socks before. He loved the class, and if you ask him, "Izzy, do you want to learn to play the violin?" he quickly answers, "YES!"
Violin takes place on the fourth floor, and I don't know if Israel has ever dealt with walking up or down steps before, but he is certainly interested in learning how. Today, after we got to the bottom, he turned around and ran back up all four flights while I chased him (both of us laughing all the way) with the violin on my back and my purse filled with snacks and stainless steel water bottles.
Israel runs to see his Papa, as soon as he gets home. Papa asked him, "did you have fun at school?" and Israel said, "YES!" He starts an Early Childhood Music class in a week and a half, and he'll interview with the School for Strings to start classes in the fall on the instrument of his choice, but we're pretty sure he'll choose violin. I feel so blessed to have two children from two different continents moving in the same direction.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Friday, May 7, 2010
Day Two
Papa took big brother Eddie out for a new baseball bat, so Israel and I went to the park. We said good-bye to Papa, and I set about teaching Israel the abstract terms "away" and "back". He was very anxious as soon as Papa left. As we got ready to go outside, he insisted on wearing a Thomas Train backpack that we hung by his yellow fireman's raincoat near the front door. I don't know how he knew it was his, but he knew. He looked like a little runaway!
We walked out to the park, hand in hand, passing the parking lot where we park our car. I pointed out that Papa took the car and went "away" to open the discussion. I tried to take him to the swings to show him "away" and "back", but he wouldn't get into the swing. Of course, I thought, he isn't ready for "away" and "back" -- look how anxious he is! He keeps asking, "ou est Papa?" The swing was the last thing he needed. All he really needed from me was "back"! So I picked him up and held him. He relaxed slowly in my arms. I weighed him this morning, and he is twenty five pounds, and then the backpack, so I couldn't walk carrying him all morning. We had to keep finding quiet places to sit. He sat facing me so that we could play "away" -- I rock him away from me -- and "back" -- I pull him close to me. I kept talking about how Papa would come back. I even pointed to my head and told him that I knew Papa would come back, and then I pointed to my heart and repeated I knew and I could feel that Papa would come back. He mimicked everything I did, but he thought about it a lot, and he seemed to really take in the idea that Papa would come back.
Whenever there were people around, he was markedly nervous and shut down. I took this to mean that he was worried I would hand him over to someone else. I talked to him about this directly, in both languages. I said, Mama is Mama and there are no other Mamas and no other Papas for Izzy. Izzy is home with Mama and Papa and Eddie, and no one else. (We don't use caregivers, so this sort of talk works for us. We fully expect never to leave him without one of us with him for at least many months, probably at least a year. We don't often have caregivers for Eddie. In our culture, this is far from the norm, but it works for us. We homeschool, so we really are hands-on parenting most of the time. I have Monday nights out, but I probably won't take a Monday night for a while right now during this critical bonding period. Scott has Thursday nights out. We try to give each other small breaks of a few hours over the weekends. I go to the gym at a ridiculously early hour in the morning. Scott works mostly from home.) When a child has been recently handed over to someone, and then taken to the other side of the globe, that child knows that anything can happen because anything has happened. I keep trying to reassure him that he is safe with us.
With my first biological child, I felt intensely mortal all the time. I couldn't reassure him that I would be around, because I literally felt I could die at any moment. Now I feel immortal, because it seems to me impossible that after coming all the way around the world, my second son should have to go through any more intense loss (at least for the time being).
We saw the ducks and the pigeons and the robin redbreasts. We went to the Inwood Hill Nature Center and saw the mummichogs (fish) and the turtles with long necks and the snake. We got to pet stuffed (real) ducks. We saw a man play a dulcimer. We stopped to watch a lot of the number one pastime in our beautiful park -- baseball! He learned about the diamond and the bases. He learned colors in French and English. And all of this in slow motion, while I carried him, while he worried about Papa, and I kept on repeating the lesson of the day ("away" and "back"). He holds onto me. He looks into my eyes more and more especially in the mirror, like when we brush our teeth. He searches me out when we are near the mirror, because it is less threatening to make contact this way. We were relaxed for a lot of the time. And then we saw Papa with Eddie playing baseball on the second field, and Izzy learned "back"! Papa comes back! Papa helped him hit a line drive. He is already starting to love baseball.
He does not love the dog near him while he eats, and he had his first tantrum telling me this. I put the dog in the bedroom during our meals now. So far she hasn't complained.
Later Izzy and I walked Shug while Papa and Eddie went to the basketball courts, and again Papa comes back! We celebrated Shabbat with candles and blessings. Food is good. Sleep is good. In bed, Izzy chanted "Izzy home, Papa home, Mama home, Eddie home, Meshugunah home." (Yes, he says the dog's full name!) He chose me to put him to bed tonight. Afterwards I played Rummy 600 with Eddie and read three chapters of <> by Kate DiCamillo. Then we talked about his feelings, and I told him stories about growing up with a little sister (don't worry K) that will not be repeated or blogged about, ever.
Tomorrow is Little League! I think if I can just keep trying to seeing things from Izzy's point of view, I will be able to help him feel safe with us. And with safety comes relaxation and trust, so that bonding can happen. Bonding is so nicely built into biological parenting, and yet feels so forced with adoptive parenting in the beginning with an "older" child who has no reason to trust anyone. Every time I start a new bonding game, it feels strange to me, but when I see him smile, I'm all endorphins.
We walked out to the park, hand in hand, passing the parking lot where we park our car. I pointed out that Papa took the car and went "away" to open the discussion. I tried to take him to the swings to show him "away" and "back", but he wouldn't get into the swing. Of course, I thought, he isn't ready for "away" and "back" -- look how anxious he is! He keeps asking, "ou est Papa?" The swing was the last thing he needed. All he really needed from me was "back"! So I picked him up and held him. He relaxed slowly in my arms. I weighed him this morning, and he is twenty five pounds, and then the backpack, so I couldn't walk carrying him all morning. We had to keep finding quiet places to sit. He sat facing me so that we could play "away" -- I rock him away from me -- and "back" -- I pull him close to me. I kept talking about how Papa would come back. I even pointed to my head and told him that I knew Papa would come back, and then I pointed to my heart and repeated I knew and I could feel that Papa would come back. He mimicked everything I did, but he thought about it a lot, and he seemed to really take in the idea that Papa would come back.
Whenever there were people around, he was markedly nervous and shut down. I took this to mean that he was worried I would hand him over to someone else. I talked to him about this directly, in both languages. I said, Mama is Mama and there are no other Mamas and no other Papas for Izzy. Izzy is home with Mama and Papa and Eddie, and no one else. (We don't use caregivers, so this sort of talk works for us. We fully expect never to leave him without one of us with him for at least many months, probably at least a year. We don't often have caregivers for Eddie. In our culture, this is far from the norm, but it works for us. We homeschool, so we really are hands-on parenting most of the time. I have Monday nights out, but I probably won't take a Monday night for a while right now during this critical bonding period. Scott has Thursday nights out. We try to give each other small breaks of a few hours over the weekends. I go to the gym at a ridiculously early hour in the morning. Scott works mostly from home.) When a child has been recently handed over to someone, and then taken to the other side of the globe, that child knows that anything can happen because anything has happened. I keep trying to reassure him that he is safe with us.
With my first biological child, I felt intensely mortal all the time. I couldn't reassure him that I would be around, because I literally felt I could die at any moment. Now I feel immortal, because it seems to me impossible that after coming all the way around the world, my second son should have to go through any more intense loss (at least for the time being).
We saw the ducks and the pigeons and the robin redbreasts. We went to the Inwood Hill Nature Center and saw the mummichogs (fish) and the turtles with long necks and the snake. We got to pet stuffed (real) ducks. We saw a man play a dulcimer. We stopped to watch a lot of the number one pastime in our beautiful park -- baseball! He learned about the diamond and the bases. He learned colors in French and English. And all of this in slow motion, while I carried him, while he worried about Papa, and I kept on repeating the lesson of the day ("away" and "back"). He holds onto me. He looks into my eyes more and more especially in the mirror, like when we brush our teeth. He searches me out when we are near the mirror, because it is less threatening to make contact this way. We were relaxed for a lot of the time. And then we saw Papa with Eddie playing baseball on the second field, and Izzy learned "back"! Papa comes back! Papa helped him hit a line drive. He is already starting to love baseball.
He does not love the dog near him while he eats, and he had his first tantrum telling me this. I put the dog in the bedroom during our meals now. So far she hasn't complained.
Later Izzy and I walked Shug while Papa and Eddie went to the basketball courts, and again Papa comes back! We celebrated Shabbat with candles and blessings. Food is good. Sleep is good. In bed, Izzy chanted "Izzy home, Papa home, Mama home, Eddie home, Meshugunah home." (Yes, he says the dog's full name!) He chose me to put him to bed tonight. Afterwards I played Rummy 600 with Eddie and read three chapters of <
Tomorrow is Little League! I think if I can just keep trying to seeing things from Izzy's point of view, I will be able to help him feel safe with us. And with safety comes relaxation and trust, so that bonding can happen. Bonding is so nicely built into biological parenting, and yet feels so forced with adoptive parenting in the beginning with an "older" child who has no reason to trust anyone. Every time I start a new bonding game, it feels strange to me, but when I see him smile, I'm all endorphins.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Izzy is in the House!
Eddie and I got up at 6am to meet Scott and Izzy at the airport. I am not a regular driver, so I white-knuckled it all the way to JFK with the MapQuest directions on the steering wheel the whole time. Izzy came out of customs riding on the luggage, calm, sitting the way toddlers sit, back straight as if held up by a balloon. He looked just like his pictures. He fussed when he saw me, wanting only his Papa. I have been reading <> by Patty Cogen, (thanks Diane!) so I knew that this behavior was normal and expected and didn't take it personally.
After greeting all the other new parents with their children and hearing about how they all love my husband (he is an awesome dude, if I say so myself!), I handed out the one-handed bubbles and the placemats, and we went to the car. I should have told the other new parents that the reason I bought the bubbles was because if your child freaks out about the car seat, the bubbles work well as a distraction. Boy was I glad we had the bubbles!
At home, the first thing we did was greet Meshugunah. Our shih tzu "Shug" is a very sweet black and white fifteen pound mop of love. She desperately wanted to meet the newest member of our pack. Izzy was terrified. We sat with him on the sofa while he stared at this creature on the rug, careful to keep his feet as far away from it as possible, while Edward hugged Shug and petted Shug and showed Izzy how lovable she is.
After about fifteen long minutes of this, he noticed blocks to stack and then a bin full of plastic superheros and matchbox cars. Carefully avoiding the dog, but no longer panicked, he took handfuls of toys up to the sofa until he had amassed his own stash which he enjoyed playing with for much of the day, on and off.
Next stop was the kitchen where Mama (me) had put on a pot of rice and the slow cooker was full of pinto beans. He ate at the kitchen table with beautiful manners, a napkin on his lap, holding his spoon well -- he was not at all interested in being fed. Still, all day long, as much as possible, I made eye contact with him whenever I could, especially while eating. He tried sweet potatoes. He can count -- I gave him three meatballs, but he asked for four! He tried a cut up grape tomato. He tried ketchup and maple syrup, separately. He ignored cucumber. He had some of Papa's salad including the red onion, and he seemed to really like the radish. He poured out the "sauce" from the beans and rice onto another plate with help and encouragement from me. I don't know how I understood that he wanted to do this, but I did.
Traveling with Papa, he had baggies of gluten free organic cheerio-type cereal, and he would often go into "his" backpack and retrieve a bag of these and carry these around. I explained several times that he could keep the closed bag in his pocket or he could eat them in the kitchen. He knows not to eat them in the living room. He repeated what I said about "dans la cuisine". (I am speaking in French and English even though he speaks neither - he speaks Lingala and babbles away as if we can understand him. We nod and try to decipher whatever it is he said.)
After snacks, I gave him a bath and changed his clothes. He splashed and was very happy in the tub. He isn't afraid of getting water in his eyes at all. Eddie said, "what a great swimmer he will be!" He put on pants, but realized he was too warm, and he took me over to his closet, opened the pants drawer himself, and I helped him take off his pants and put on shorts. I taught him that instead of leaning on the furniture to take his pants on and off, he can lean on me. Later when I helped him into his pajamas, he did lean on me!
We have a few phrases -- ca va (French for "it goes", as in, "how's it going?"). Ca va bien (it goes well), and ca va mieux (it goes better). He says a few other things that we can understand, a Lingala word for toilet, and the sound "my" which is important and accompanies fidgeting and searching, but I have no idea what it means.
Outside we took a walk to the soccer field where we met the bird man Jim who has huge parrots on his shoulder and another bird in a cage. Eddie got to pet and hold the big birds. Then Izzy climbed into my arms and stayed there, resting his head on my face for long periods of time until we came home again. He is not light! Definitely over twenty pounds. Hopefully almost thirty!
Then Papa decided to have some alone time with Eddie outside, and as soon as he left, Izzy got agitated, stopped eating, went to the book that Papa had probably read to him a million times and threw it on the floor and stomped on it. I tried to explain in every language imaginable that Papa will come back, but I knew that he needed more reassurance than that. So we went out again.
We easily found Papa and Eddie playing ball in the park. Izzy made it clear that he had to join in, and he did. The baseball game became a soccer game (with Izzy's new soccer ball), and they all had a blast together. Izzy has a great sense of humor, and sometimes instead of kicking the ball, when he finally got it, he would just sit on it and laugh!
After more beans and rice than I've ever seen anyone eat, he went to play in the family bed, and when Eddie came in, he said, "come on up, Eddie!" Eddie immediately hopped onto the bed and then did a bellyflop and Izzy copied him exactly. Eventually Israel went to sleep on Papa's shoulder in the family bed. It was five thirty. What a glorious day! I did four loads of laundry, and Eddie and I have been finding homes for all the amazing artifacts and sculptures and masks that Scott brought home. Eddie hung up a few things with his own hammer and nails as a surprise - wow!
Time to walk the dog and clean the rest of the kitchen. I put Eddie to sleep after reading <> by Roald Dahl. I know Eddie likes his baby brother because he shared his meatballs with him. And I know that Izzy likes his big brother because Israel shared his cereal with Eddie. When Izzy went up to Eddie's violin, Eddie played for him, and Izzy started a rhythm on the big new drum Papa brought home for Eddie (we'll get one for Izzy on Saturday for his birthday), and the rhythm was a perfect match for the song! Then Izzy bowed on the violin and held Eddie's box violin under his chin. It's the beginning of a beautiful relationship...
After greeting all the other new parents with their children and hearing about how they all love my husband (he is an awesome dude, if I say so myself!), I handed out the one-handed bubbles and the placemats, and we went to the car. I should have told the other new parents that the reason I bought the bubbles was because if your child freaks out about the car seat, the bubbles work well as a distraction. Boy was I glad we had the bubbles!
At home, the first thing we did was greet Meshugunah. Our shih tzu "Shug" is a very sweet black and white fifteen pound mop of love. She desperately wanted to meet the newest member of our pack. Izzy was terrified. We sat with him on the sofa while he stared at this creature on the rug, careful to keep his feet as far away from it as possible, while Edward hugged Shug and petted Shug and showed Izzy how lovable she is.
After about fifteen long minutes of this, he noticed blocks to stack and then a bin full of plastic superheros and matchbox cars. Carefully avoiding the dog, but no longer panicked, he took handfuls of toys up to the sofa until he had amassed his own stash which he enjoyed playing with for much of the day, on and off.
Next stop was the kitchen where Mama (me) had put on a pot of rice and the slow cooker was full of pinto beans. He ate at the kitchen table with beautiful manners, a napkin on his lap, holding his spoon well -- he was not at all interested in being fed. Still, all day long, as much as possible, I made eye contact with him whenever I could, especially while eating. He tried sweet potatoes. He can count -- I gave him three meatballs, but he asked for four! He tried a cut up grape tomato. He tried ketchup and maple syrup, separately. He ignored cucumber. He had some of Papa's salad including the red onion, and he seemed to really like the radish. He poured out the "sauce" from the beans and rice onto another plate with help and encouragement from me. I don't know how I understood that he wanted to do this, but I did.
Traveling with Papa, he had baggies of gluten free organic cheerio-type cereal, and he would often go into "his" backpack and retrieve a bag of these and carry these around. I explained several times that he could keep the closed bag in his pocket or he could eat them in the kitchen. He knows not to eat them in the living room. He repeated what I said about "dans la cuisine". (I am speaking in French and English even though he speaks neither - he speaks Lingala and babbles away as if we can understand him. We nod and try to decipher whatever it is he said.)
After snacks, I gave him a bath and changed his clothes. He splashed and was very happy in the tub. He isn't afraid of getting water in his eyes at all. Eddie said, "what a great swimmer he will be!" He put on pants, but realized he was too warm, and he took me over to his closet, opened the pants drawer himself, and I helped him take off his pants and put on shorts. I taught him that instead of leaning on the furniture to take his pants on and off, he can lean on me. Later when I helped him into his pajamas, he did lean on me!
We have a few phrases -- ca va (French for "it goes", as in, "how's it going?"). Ca va bien (it goes well), and ca va mieux (it goes better). He says a few other things that we can understand, a Lingala word for toilet, and the sound "my" which is important and accompanies fidgeting and searching, but I have no idea what it means.
Outside we took a walk to the soccer field where we met the bird man Jim who has huge parrots on his shoulder and another bird in a cage. Eddie got to pet and hold the big birds. Then Izzy climbed into my arms and stayed there, resting his head on my face for long periods of time until we came home again. He is not light! Definitely over twenty pounds. Hopefully almost thirty!
Then Papa decided to have some alone time with Eddie outside, and as soon as he left, Izzy got agitated, stopped eating, went to the book that Papa had probably read to him a million times and threw it on the floor and stomped on it. I tried to explain in every language imaginable that Papa will come back, but I knew that he needed more reassurance than that. So we went out again.
We easily found Papa and Eddie playing ball in the park. Izzy made it clear that he had to join in, and he did. The baseball game became a soccer game (with Izzy's new soccer ball), and they all had a blast together. Izzy has a great sense of humor, and sometimes instead of kicking the ball, when he finally got it, he would just sit on it and laugh!
After more beans and rice than I've ever seen anyone eat, he went to play in the family bed, and when Eddie came in, he said, "come on up, Eddie!" Eddie immediately hopped onto the bed and then did a bellyflop and Izzy copied him exactly. Eventually Israel went to sleep on Papa's shoulder in the family bed. It was five thirty. What a glorious day! I did four loads of laundry, and Eddie and I have been finding homes for all the amazing artifacts and sculptures and masks that Scott brought home. Eddie hung up a few things with his own hammer and nails as a surprise - wow!
Time to walk the dog and clean the rest of the kitchen. I put Eddie to sleep after reading <
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
The Night Before Izzy
'Twas the night before Izzy, and all through the house,
not a dust mote was falling, nor fridge-emptying spouse...
I am trying to think of what I still need to do -- put the quilt back over the velvet couch; prep my husband's coffee for tomorrow to take to the airport at 7am as a surprise; prep his salad for lunch tomorrow, so I won't have to tear myself away from my new little boy; comet the bathroom sink. (I am not a great cleaner, but I have been cleaning in sections all week, so over three days I managed the tub, and then in one day the toilet, and I still haven't done the sink. So tonight, the sink!) I'd also like to clean up the dining room table that we use as our schoolroom, but I don't know if that will happen. If I can't sleep, it will, but I may just go to sleep.
I have laid out the clothes I will wear to the airport -- forest green linen capri pants with a forest green floral print dress on top. I can't wear short dresses without pants underneath. I just feel too naked.
I will probably make a list of stuff to take with me -- food for the car in case we are stuck forever in traffic, presents for the other new parents (bubble things that you can use with one hand -- you just squeeze and the blow-circle pops up full of bubble juice -- I find these very calming for the parent because of all the deep breathing you get to do, and bubbles are always fascinating for the child). I also got them alphabet placemats, the wipe-off kind, with Africa as the letter A.
What else? Try to remember that I can do this. I'll be fine. I am totally terrified. I can breathe and be okay with my feelings. My son Eddie is thrilled and excited. I keep trying not to hyperventilate. He is sound asleep. I am going to alphabetize the fridge alphabet letters.
This is sort of like labor. I thought he would be here this morning, but he won't be here until tomorrow, and I am once again dreading parenthood. Lots of blood! Cramping rather heavily - it's my period, day two. Sort of just like the second day of labor. Only easier. Four years gestation. No pushing to do at all. No nerve damage or paralysis. No emergency c-section.
I had two hours to myself this afternoon while Eddie went to Hebrew School. I bought the bubble things I mentioned. I went to Fairway. I went to Sephora and bought concealer and lipstick. The guy at the checkout asked me if I wanted a regular shopper's card, and I said, "no, I know I won't be here for at least another four years." And I am sure I won't, because it took me until Eddie was seven to go there to buy make-up. I didn't have time to wear any when he was younger than that. I was so focused on him, I didn't even mind. Hopefully, one look at Israel tomorrow, and it will be years before I mind again. Because whether or not I mind, I won't have the time or the band-width to deal with make-up, so it's much nicer if I don't mind.
I think I'm as ready as I'll ever be.
not a dust mote was falling, nor fridge-emptying spouse...
I am trying to think of what I still need to do -- put the quilt back over the velvet couch; prep my husband's coffee for tomorrow to take to the airport at 7am as a surprise; prep his salad for lunch tomorrow, so I won't have to tear myself away from my new little boy; comet the bathroom sink. (I am not a great cleaner, but I have been cleaning in sections all week, so over three days I managed the tub, and then in one day the toilet, and I still haven't done the sink. So tonight, the sink!) I'd also like to clean up the dining room table that we use as our schoolroom, but I don't know if that will happen. If I can't sleep, it will, but I may just go to sleep.
I have laid out the clothes I will wear to the airport -- forest green linen capri pants with a forest green floral print dress on top. I can't wear short dresses without pants underneath. I just feel too naked.
I will probably make a list of stuff to take with me -- food for the car in case we are stuck forever in traffic, presents for the other new parents (bubble things that you can use with one hand -- you just squeeze and the blow-circle pops up full of bubble juice -- I find these very calming for the parent because of all the deep breathing you get to do, and bubbles are always fascinating for the child). I also got them alphabet placemats, the wipe-off kind, with Africa as the letter A.
What else? Try to remember that I can do this. I'll be fine. I am totally terrified. I can breathe and be okay with my feelings. My son Eddie is thrilled and excited. I keep trying not to hyperventilate. He is sound asleep. I am going to alphabetize the fridge alphabet letters.
This is sort of like labor. I thought he would be here this morning, but he won't be here until tomorrow, and I am once again dreading parenthood. Lots of blood! Cramping rather heavily - it's my period, day two. Sort of just like the second day of labor. Only easier. Four years gestation. No pushing to do at all. No nerve damage or paralysis. No emergency c-section.
I had two hours to myself this afternoon while Eddie went to Hebrew School. I bought the bubble things I mentioned. I went to Fairway. I went to Sephora and bought concealer and lipstick. The guy at the checkout asked me if I wanted a regular shopper's card, and I said, "no, I know I won't be here for at least another four years." And I am sure I won't, because it took me until Eddie was seven to go there to buy make-up. I didn't have time to wear any when he was younger than that. I was so focused on him, I didn't even mind. Hopefully, one look at Israel tomorrow, and it will be years before I mind again. Because whether or not I mind, I won't have the time or the band-width to deal with make-up, so it's much nicer if I don't mind.
I think I'm as ready as I'll ever be.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Ten days til Israel Comes Home
Scott leaves on Tuesday the 27th for Kinshasa, and he will pick up Israel and bring him home on Wednesday May 5th. I can hardly believe it, but it is happening. I can tell because I am packing, and the living room is strewn with donations and the sandals we bought in every size from 5 to 12 because we don't know what will fit.
I am worried because he is almost four years old and wears a 2T. I got a baby carrier because they tell me he is really little. It is not completely comprehensible to me that he should be so small.
Eddie made a welcome home sign today. We talk about the butterflies in our tummies. And dancing dinosaurs.
I am worried because he is almost four years old and wears a 2T. I got a baby carrier because they tell me he is really little. It is not completely comprehensible to me that he should be so small.
Eddie made a welcome home sign today. We talk about the butterflies in our tummies. And dancing dinosaurs.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
We Have News!
I am almost afraid to write it all down, but here it is -- Scott will travel to the Congo at the end of April to pick up Israel and bring him home! They will arrive in early May. I am not feeling nervous at all yet. I am excited and thrilled. We don't want to overwhelm him with things. He has all the clothing he needs already in his closet. He speaks French, so I do wish I had a few more children's books in French, but other than that, I feel as if we are well prepared. He will be four years old on May 10th, and we are probably going to plan a celebration for some time in June. I will be looking for a local apartment to sublet in June for some family members to come and visit. First we want him all to ourselves. We are looking forward to getting to know him.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
New Year's 2010
I guess I am just like everyone else -- on December 31st, I walked into the closest gym I could find, and I took the end-of-the-year deal. A year's membership for $99! My dear friend Michelle told me to go for it. She said I had to do something for myself. My husband Scott told me that I was putting up roadblocks. I kept telling him I would join the gym when we got a parking space in the lot behind our building. I don't know when we will get that space, but I am not going to let my husband think that I am putting up roadblocks. I will achieve my goals!
What are my goals? My leg, the one I broke last January skiing, is not doing very well. I have one big juicy thigh muscle, but my right leg is emaciated, flabby, and frankly it looks like the leg of someone twice my age! I have a hard time with all the stairs I climb all day, starting with the three flights to get up to the elevated 1 train that starts my day. I race my son up the steps, but I am not building muscles this way. It feels more like I am running up the stairs on my bones -- my muscles aren't really involved. So I am looking to do some strength-training to build up those right thigh muscles. Calf muscles too!
January 1st I was at the gym from 7am until 750am. I walked there and back. It wasn't awful. I only slipped once. January 2nd I went back. I got there before 7am, and they wouldn't let me in until it turned 7am, and then I realized that there were twenty people behind me. Wow! One guy told me it's really crowded there on the weekends usually. I am going to start getting up earlier, because the gym is open 24-7 after this holiday weekend.
My goal is to get there four to five times a week. This is my time for me. I do a walking meditation over there and back. It is very calming. I studied walking meditation with Joseph Goldstein at Insight Meditation Society in Barre MA this past December, and he says it's all about noticing your feelings.
At 645am this morning there were snow flurries in the still-dark sky. I felt peaceful and proud. Thank you Scott! Thank you Michelle! Happy New Year Everyone! Happy New Decade! Every day is the first day of the rest of our lives.
What are my goals? My leg, the one I broke last January skiing, is not doing very well. I have one big juicy thigh muscle, but my right leg is emaciated, flabby, and frankly it looks like the leg of someone twice my age! I have a hard time with all the stairs I climb all day, starting with the three flights to get up to the elevated 1 train that starts my day. I race my son up the steps, but I am not building muscles this way. It feels more like I am running up the stairs on my bones -- my muscles aren't really involved. So I am looking to do some strength-training to build up those right thigh muscles. Calf muscles too!
January 1st I was at the gym from 7am until 750am. I walked there and back. It wasn't awful. I only slipped once. January 2nd I went back. I got there before 7am, and they wouldn't let me in until it turned 7am, and then I realized that there were twenty people behind me. Wow! One guy told me it's really crowded there on the weekends usually. I am going to start getting up earlier, because the gym is open 24-7 after this holiday weekend.
My goal is to get there four to five times a week. This is my time for me. I do a walking meditation over there and back. It is very calming. I studied walking meditation with Joseph Goldstein at Insight Meditation Society in Barre MA this past December, and he says it's all about noticing your feelings.
At 645am this morning there were snow flurries in the still-dark sky. I felt peaceful and proud. Thank you Scott! Thank you Michelle! Happy New Year Everyone! Happy New Decade! Every day is the first day of the rest of our lives.
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